Question: If I were to mail you a box of kittens, what would you do with them?
Answer: I would train them to make pasta and detail my car.
Question: Why aren’t there more pictures of you in sexy underwear?
Answer: I tried to post some but my wife told me they were for her “private collection”.
Question: Will you draw a comic starring me?
Answer: Sure, but only if you do something really stupid that I think is funny.
Question: A lot of your comics are about hating children. Do you really hate children?
Question: How can you hate children. They’re innocent and adorable?
Answer: Children are evil, money grubbing shit boxes.
Question: Do you REALLY hate children?
Answer: Yes, but now I hate you too.
Question: What is your biggest dream?
Answer: I want to slide down the back of a brontosaurus and land in the drivers seat of my car just like Fred Flintstone.
Question: How do you come up with your ideas?
Answer: I found a hallowed out boar that allows me to travel through time. I travel to the future and steal the ideas from future me that has already drawn them.
Question: If you found out I was a reader of your comic, would you internet stalk me?
Answer: I’m standing behind you right now.