Question: If I were to mail you a box of kittens, what would you do with them?

Answer: I would train them to make pasta and detail my car.


Question: Why aren’t there more pictures of you in sexy underwear?

Answer: I tried to post some but my wife told me they were for her “private collection”.


Question: Will you draw a comic starring me?

Answer: Sure, but only if you do something really stupid that I think is funny.


Question: A lot of your comics are about hating children. Do you really hate children?

Answer: Yes.


Question: How can you hate children. They’re innocent and adorable?

Answer: Children are evil, money grubbing shit boxes.


Question: Do you REALLY hate children?

Answer: Yes, but now I hate you too.


Question: What is your biggest dream?

Answer: I want to slide down the back of a brontosaurus and land in the drivers seat of my car just like Fred Flintstone.


Question: How do you come up with your ideas?

Answer: I found a hallowed out boar that allows me to travel through time. I travel to the future and steal the ideas from future me that has already drawn them.


Question: If you found out I was a reader of your comic, would you internet stalk me?

Answer: I’m standing behind you right now.


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